it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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