remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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