No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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