11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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