just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
