she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
