Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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