he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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