the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
