dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
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Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
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Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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