I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
