and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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