Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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