Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
