can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
