video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
