Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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