No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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