...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
