NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
