Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
