Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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