It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
