your thong is hanging out like whoa
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
