what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
