What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
