dude i'm inner monologue high
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm too high and old for this...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
