I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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