Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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