could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize