like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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