a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
