two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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