I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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