we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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