I can tuck mytits in my pants
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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