There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
