I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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