why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I am available for nakedness
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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