I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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