i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Do you still have your period?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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