i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
