eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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