All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
