Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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