He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
