Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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