I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize