Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
