Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
