you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
