we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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