OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
