We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
