Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
too bad you live with your parents still
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
