yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
