You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
