just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
