Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
