man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
