the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
