I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
