with your own penis?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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