it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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