Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
