All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
