yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
