im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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