I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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